The Challenge

These pants you see here to left? Those are my pre-pregnancy pants.

8/10s.

I'm definitely not an 8/10 anymore.

I find the best way to challenge yourself is to make it publicly known what you're doing, otherwise, if you fail it's perfectly fine because no one knew about it anyway.

I've come to love my body, in all of its imperfection, so much more postpartum than I ever did before I was pregnant. As a teenager and young adult I thought I was so fat. I was so insecure. And I was so wrong! I wasn't a size 2, no, but I had a flat stomach, was somewhat toned, and while I wasn't skinny I was thin and curvy. I thought I was disgusting.

And then I look at myself now. Let's just throw this embarrassing fact out there, I'm a size 16 right now. I was an 18/20 two weeks after giving birth. I gained about 50 pounds during my pregnancy, and my already large hips got larger. (The hips just never went back haha.)

While I am quite larger than I was before my first pregnancy, I also love my body a lot more. I've come to see it for what it is. I grew a life. Does that resonate with you? It's pretty astounding to me.

I grew a life, a human being, inside of me. I grew this amazing, nine pound baby, for ten months. And then I birthed her. Out of my body. All on my own, without help! I'm a freaking rockstar. This body GREW A HUMAN. I also solely kept her alive for seven months with just my amazing breastmilk. I not only housed and grew a person, I kept them alive with my body afterwards.

These stretchmarks that are forever tattooed upon my stomach and hips, those lovely ripples in my previously flawless skin, are my reminder of how strong I am. How powerful I am.

And so I love myself. So much more than my insecure former teenaged self ever thought she would.

And in loving myself, I want to feel better about myself. I still struggle with insecurity sometimes. Other times I look at my lovely hefty self and smile. I am that ultra curvy, smiley, sarcastic mom you see in supporting roles in romantic comedies. I'm the best friend who cooks. And I love that about myself! My husband loves that about me!

However. I have decided I want to feel better about myself and my health. I am horribly out shape. I am no longer toned and my muscles are nonexistent. I have no energy! Not okay. Not okay because my baby is morphing into a toddler before my eyes and getting super active because of it. I need to keep up with her. I need to be able to lift her!

So this is my challenge. I already eat pretty well, and I'm not one to go on a diet to lose a few quick pounds just to gain it back when you resume your normal eating habits. I eat a lot of chicken and veggies, and I have the occasional Starbucks. I'm fine with that.

But for Christmas, I'm getting a gym membership. I used to love working out. I shed the pounds fast when I'm active, so that's what I aim to do! Regularly. Those jeans you saw above are my goal pants. I will fit into those pants! I am not putting a date on it, because I know I'll feel better just by doing cardio and toning muscles on those awesome machines I used to adore.

I tell you this because I want to be accountable. I'm done with being lazy. I am fine with being a 10. I am happily married to a man who adores my body no matter the size or shape I'm in. I don't need to be a 4, I don't need to attract anyone (face it, the usual force behind girls losing weight), I don't need to be a 2 to feel good about myself or to get people to like me, and honestly, my structure wouldn't look good as a 2 or 4. I haven't been a size six since I was 16! I am a mom, a wife, and I'm fine with getting back to a ten. I just can't be this out of shape exhausted person anymore. That's the driving force behind this challenge. Getting into my old jeans is just a bonus! So is not having to buy new jeans anymore haha.

So there you go. My challenge! It may take a while, I'm a busy person. But I'm okay. I am happy with the fact that I will get "me time" in a gym. Something I am just doing for myself.

(smile)

My Favorite Season!

It's winter!

Not really. It's still technically fall. But it feels like winter, we had our first snow two weeks ago! Ahh Ohio.

My fall, my beloved, eagerly awaited for fall, hasn't lasted long. It was barely here. It was so enjoyable while it was, and then we got the sudden cold snap. Two days ago we had one solid day where it was warm enough for me to open the windows (60 degrees). It was that crisp, breezy cool I love so much. And then the chill and rain appeared again.

Not that I don't love rain. I love rain. So so much! But the crisp cool kind. Not the kind that is so freezing cold it seeps into your bones and you never feel warm again. That is still nice rain, but nowhere near enjoyable you know. Especially considering now when it rains my knees and ankles start aching like and old woman who just got done working on the farm all day. What is this nonsense?!

So I'm just pretending it's winter already so I don't feel bad about the lack of appropriate fall weather.

I'm getting so pumped for the upcoming holiday season! I adore Halloween, of course, and Justin and I threw our first annual Halloween party last month. We went as a vampire and her slayer.

It was a blast! We went all out. And by all out I mean fifty dollars in pizza and fifty dollars in printer ink to print a Halloween bunting for our fireplaces and a freaking ton of "Halloween-y" and Harry Potter labels for bottles and decorations, and I even made a spooky map to some common Halloween places. Leading to our house, Castle Dracula of course haha. Justin bought a strobe light but we didn't end up using it, we just watch corny scary movies and The Walking Dead!

Now it is November. I am thrilled! It's the start of the best time of year. People are generally more happy and of good cheer, more thankful than grouchy, and I can listen to Christmas music. I so look forward to Thanksgiving!

I look forward to it so much.... that I couldn't help myself. I made a pre-Thanksgiving dinner with Justin this week.

It was really the most wonderful of days. I watched a Thanksgiving Hallmark Channel movie with Bree, did some laundry and cleaning, listened to rain and Christmas music on Pandora... and Justin came home from physical therapy with the groceries  requested. He even helped with dinner by peeling the potatoes for me, pouring me wine while I worked on stuffing veggies, toasted bread for me, and made the chicken all on his own.

After it was all done (a significant decrease in the usual Thanksgiving food cooking time, due to the fact we weren't roasting a turkey) we sat down together, my sweet husband, lovely baby and myself, and enjoyed a dinner we worked on together.

IT WAS SO WONDERFUL!

Now I'm working on my list for Christmas to do's. A fabulous book I need to buy for a tradition I want to start, entitled How Murray Saved Christmas, twinkle lights for our dining room and new tree, some ornaments, our own stockings (our only stockings adorn Nana and Poppa's house), and various family present ideas.

Tis the season! The best part of the year. I am so excited and aim to enjoy every moment. That's what's been going on in the life of this little family!